In One Word
by wyverndragon
Summary: Our lovely Marauders must describe themselves and each other with one word and one word only. Hilarity ensues. T for mild language.


**AN: Not my first HP fic, I've got a couple others in the works, but here's a nice little piece just for fun. Enjoy, and review, and maybe I'll put up another part or something :)  
**

* * *

**_Note code:_  
**

**Sirius**

_Remus_

James

Peter

_**Slytherclaw**_

* * *

The four Marauders walked into their dormitory, bantering about one thing or another. The prank earlier that day had gone perfectly and left them all in a good mood. However, the conversation grew quieter when Peter noticed the piece of parchment lying on Sirius's pillow.

"Hey Padfoot, what's that?" he asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Probably just fan mail," he said with a wink. When he picked up the parchment, however, thick, black, and none-too-tidy scrawl spread across it.

_**Hello, my lovely Marauders.**_

They all stared at the parchment in shock. Sirius was the first to break from his stupor, and shouted, albeit unnecessarily, to Remus, "Remus, gimme a quill!" The werewolf boy sighed, and dropped a writing utensil in Sirius's outstretched hand.

**Lovely Marauders?**

_**It's either that or precious Marauders. Take your pick.**_

Remus had rifled through his schoolbag and quickly found quills for all of them. He snatched the parchment out of Sirius's hand and continued the note.

_Lovely Marauders will do fine, thank you. Who would you be?_

_**Let me guess, I'm talking to Rem, aren't I? You all can call me Slytherclaw, I suppose.**_

Slytherclaw? That's lame.

_**Nobody asked you.**_

**What do you want from us?**

_**I want to play a game.**_

…this guy is starting to scare me.

_**Girl, actually. And yes, that's sort of the point.**_

_What if we don't want to play?_

_**Then there may or may not be a bunch of howlers arriving in the Great Hall spilling your deepest darkest secrets…roughly tomorrow.**_

**I hate you.**

_**Awww, don't hate! The game isn't that hard! Or painful, even!**_

_Fine. Make it quick please, I have an essay I need to write._

**No! This is stupid!**

_**With all due respect, I believe Rem gets the final call, for reasons all of us know.**_

**You got a point…**

_Damn right she does._

So what's the game?

_**Each of you will have a turn. Decide who goes first.**_

**I wanna go first!**

Sure.

Fine.

_Whatever._

_**Alright. Everyone, describe Sirius in one word. Go!**_

**That's easy! Awesome!**

Har har har.

_Does ADHD count as one word?_

Wait, so all of us describe Padfoot or just Padfoot describes Padfoot?

_**All of you Wormy, get with the program. And Rem, very funny, but no, sorry.**_

I'd say mischievous.

Umm…. Rude.

**Hey!**

_Ah, crap, can't think of anything else…_

_**Also, just so we're clear, no word can be used twice, even on two different people.**_

_I got it! Interesting._

**What do you mean?**

_Let's just say there's never a dull moment with you around._

**Aww, that's so sweet!**

…

**Wait, that was supposed to be a complement, right?**

_Sure, Pads, whatever you say._

_**I would *kill* to see the look on his face right now!**_

It's pretty funny!

**I hate you all.**

_**Mmmkay. Who's next?**_

**I vote Moony!**

_**Objections?**_

…_**No?**_

_**Okay! Rem, one word, go!**_

_Question? Why do you keep calling me 'Rem'?_

_**I'm lazy, and I rather like the nickname. Do you mind?**_

Do you care if he minds?

_**Him, yes. If it were you or Siri-poo? Hell no.**_

**Siri-poo! Really?**

_**Yes, really. If it bothers you, I'll make it permanent.**_

**It's beyond hate now. I **_**loathe**_** you.**

Back on topic, Remus in one word: clever.

Remus – kind.

_Thanks, Peter. And about the nickname, no I don't mind, just curious._

**Remus? Studious. Aka boring.**

_**Oh damn, he didn't.**_

He did. And now James is restraining Remus from removing some of Pads' limbs.

_**He he, poor Siri.**_

No kidding. You don't even want to know what happens to anyone who messes with his chocolate.

_**Ha! Must be hilarious!**_

_I do not find any situation involving the stealing of my chocolate hilarious._

_**Whoops! Sorry Rem… anyway, Siri, word?**_

**Don't call me Siri, and I already said, studious. Aka b-**

Padfoot, for the love of god, shut up before Moony throws you off the tower.

_**Oh-kayyy. Rem, answer.**_

_I have to answer too? Okay, sarcastic, I suppose._

_**Next! Wormy in one word!**_

**Awkward. Definitely.**

_You seem to have a death wish, Pads. Anyway, my word is quiet._

Methinks the Wormtail be innocent.

_**What the hell?**_

Erm, I guess timid, maybe.

_**Okay, I disagree with most of those, but whatever you guys say.**_

**What do you mean? Mine was perfect!**

_**A Marauder being innocent? Bullshit. And Wormy isn't terribly timid or awkward either. But that just be my observations.**_

_Prongs, your turn._

_**Indeed. Go!**_

Me? Well, Pads took awesome, so I'll go with splendiferous.

_**I would object to that, but I'm laughing too hard.**_

Popular.

**Prat!**

Oi!

_Oh dear… and my word is loyal._

**Kidding, really!**

You better be.

_**Hurry up, Siri, we're all waiting on you.**_

**DON'T CALL ME SIRI!**

DON'T YELL!

_YOU CAN'T YELL ON PAPER!_

_**HURRY UP PADFOOT!**_

**OKAY! GOSH!**

_In all seriousness-_

***I'm***** Sirius!**

_**That joke is terrible.**_

**I can only think of one word, though.**

Which is…?

**Brother.**

...**  
**

_**I believe my heart has just melted right now.**_

You have a heart? Great for you!

_**Wormy, shut up**_

**You just ruined**

A moment.

_You guys are really starting to scare me._

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**Reviews? Hugs? Cookies? Part Two? All of the above?  
I don't really hate Siri or anything, I just love torturing him :P  
**


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